So,What's wrong with me?
by merethebear
Summary: Why can't you sleep?" Derek asked. "Ever since you went in to the hospital," she paused looking around the room hoping Derek wouldn't make her finish, but of course he was going to. That would be un-Derek like if he didn't.
1. Change is good

Derek couldn't remember the last time he had felt this sick. His stomach would keep anything down, and his head was about to explode, his bones ached from the very core. But he couldn't tell anyone, no one can know how sick he was. This had been going on for about two days now. And when ever his parents weren't looking he would sneak medicine that he thought might help. He popped Advil as often as he could, but nothing could stop him from throwing it back up.

After three days he just about gave it up, he couldn't go to school. He couldn't even get out of bed, so when Casey came in his room to wake him up he just lied there. He could hear Casey yelling at him, feel her pull off the covers, but it seemed that when he did try and say something she couldn't hear him. He started fading in and out, but he finally said,

"Please don't tell Nora and Dad." At that Casey ran down stairs so quickly that Derek could hear her fall down some of the stairs.

He could hear her yelling "Derek's sick. He can't even move!" In fact it seemed like every little noise was louder than usual. The turning of his fan, the sound of the shower being on, the loud voice down stairs. Then suddenly Derek's world quickly went black.

When he awoke every thing was white. The walls were white, and the sheets where white, the ceiling was white. He closed his eyes and blinked again, "this isn't right." No, something was wrong, this wasn't his room. "AHH!" a sudden pain in his head made him scream, aloud. There was a movement and he felt Nora and Casey suddenly at his side. A women dressed like a nurse soon followed. A Nurse? Meaning he is in the hospital. He looked at Casey.

"Why did you tell them!" he yelled at her, but it came out more as a shriek.

"Derek, you were barely conscious, you could have died if we didn't get you to a hospital." Casey whispered back. And he could see on her face that she was just relieved he was alive. He turned to the nurse and asked

"So, when do I get to go home?" before the nurse could reply Casey butted in.

"Your not even going to ask why you're here?"

"Well, I know that reason," Derek said but his voice was giving out, "Its because you turned me in."

"She is right Derek, just listen to the nurse." Derek turned he had almost forgotten that Nora was there. Derek just sat back and got comfy. But that was hard to do, he twisted and turned but nothing felt good. He finally just told the nurse to get on with it. She seemed to be taking forever to tell him. Nora took his hand, and he gave her a look but she didn't let go. Casey left them room, Derek could see the tears in her eyes. Once he saw Casey so hurt he didn't care about Nora's hand in his.

"Wait before you start, where is my Dad?" he looked at Nora.

"He was here all week, but then he got a call and had to leave. The other kids are getting lunch in the café down stairs"

"All week?" he questioned wandering how long he had been out.

"Derek its Thursday," she began.

"Right, but you said all week?"

"Yes, Thursday of the next week." Suddenly his thought were spinning out of control. He had been out for a week. A whole week of his life gone. A whole week without moving, food, and even going to school. He couldn't tell if the last thing was good or not. Right now it didn't matter. Whatever had happened to him made Casey leave, crying. Which wasn't uncommon but now she was crying for him, not because of him. If the news made Casey cry over him, than he knew it must be bad. For some reason, Derek wanted to hold her and tell her it would be okay. He didn't even know what was wrong with him yet, but he wanted to let her know everything was going to be fine. He looked at the nurse. Nodded his head and she began.

He couldn't understand anything she was saying. He listened harder and words started to pop up that he knew. All of them sounding much more horrible than when he had heard them in science class. But he didn't know how any of these related to him.

"So do I have cancer or what?" he just blurted out. The nurse had a quick look of shock on her face. But then said.

"No, its" she began.

"Then what the hell to I have!" he yelled at her.

"Derek! If you would listen, she could tell you." he turned his head to see Casey. He hadn't even hear her come in. Her eyes where red and puffy, her hands where shaking, and her hair looked as thought it hadn't been brushed in days. He wanted to hold her again telling her it would be fine but he was jerked out of his thoughts when the Nurse continued.

" You have a brain disease." the nurse was still speaking, well her lips where still moving anyway. But Derek wasn't listening.

His uncle had died from a brain disease, but he couldn't remember the name of it. All he knew was that his uncle Robert soon couldn't control his emotions nor could he control his actions. One second he would be as happy as every thing, the next he would be yelling so loudly that his face was red. Once when he and his dad had gone to visit him, he had just had a fit and one of the nurse was cleaning up a broken vase off the ground as his wife was picking up the flowers. While uncle Robert was happily talking to himself about what was on the Television. Derek tuned back in to hearing the nurse say.,

" You might be experiencing some emotional imbalances in the next weeks or so." That's all Derek wanted to hear.

He closed his eyes and went to sleep. His head still throbbing. He started to have strange dreams, some where, Marti was sitting beside him telling him about her day at school. Or where Edwin would be watching hockey on the Television, when Edwin hated hockey. Sometimes he would find George holding Nora, as she cried. Or Casey holding his hand, silently sobbing. He hated those dreams the most, but ever time when he would try and touch her face to comfort her, his hand felt like it was tied down with string.

The smell of food woke Derek up. The smell of a chocolate chip cookie could raise him from the dead. In some ways it had. He looked at the wall and found a clock, under it saying the date. He had been out for another three days. Another waft of the cookie and Derek began looking around the room and found Edwin and Lizzie stuffing there faces with them. Marti next to them was feeding Sir Munks-a lot one. And Casey in the corner looking at them at what seemed to be worriment. Derek didn't know that over the past few days that had been the look plastered on her face.

"Hey," he began but his voice wasn't there. He cleared his throat and tired to begin again, but by that time everyone was crowded around him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'll I wanted was a cookie!" he said with a smile. Everyone began moving, but Derek only noticed Casey leaving the room.

"Here you go Smerek!" Marti said as handed him a cookie. Then she jumped up on the bed with him. That made Derek a little nauseaes but he didn't say anything. Suddenly the cookie wasn't looking so great.

"Thank you Smarti." he said as he rapped his arm around her and she snuggled in.

"So, how are you feeling?" Lizzie questioned.

"I'm feeling," he began but just then his parents walk thought the door. Followed by Casey. He stared at her for a moment but she wasn't looking. She was to busy freaking out about the fact that he had finally awoken.

"How do you feel, Derek?" Nora asked just like Lizzie had just moments before. But instead of saying fine like he was going to a moment ago. The answered changed. His head was killing him again and his vision went fuzzy. He blinked and it disappeared along with his headache.

"Tired" was all he could reply with. The family laughed and more questions where asked. "Was he hungry?" "Yes." "Did he need another pillow?" "No." "Did he have to use the bathroom?" "No." After a couple of minutes of the family just staring at him. Casey asked,

"Do you remember anything from the last ten days?" her eyes looked like a mixture between sad and happy.

He thought for a moment now realizing those weren't dreams. Casey really had sat by his bed and talked to him, holding his hand. Edwin had watched an entire hockey game just in case Derek woke up and asked about it.

"Yes, but the only thing in remember perfectly was when the nurse told me…" Everyone stopped talking and looked around at different things. But not Casey she was staring at him with her blue eyes. Then she said " Derek Venturi, we are going to get through this." Usually if Casey had said that to him, he would have laughed at her for days about how soft and predictably she was. But he couldn't bring him self to do it. Because even thought Casey never lied. He didn't really believe she was telling the truth.


	2. To Soften the Heart

The next few days were torture. They told him that he had to spend at least four more days in the hospital. Four more days of staring at a white wall, well at least there was a television. Four more days of crappy food, the pudding wasn't so bad. His favorite part of every day was at 4:00 when Casey would come back to the hospital from school . Nora would leave to go home and take care of the kids. Most of the time Casey would just sit there and do her homework, occasionally talk to Derek about her day. He would then pretend to make fun of how dramatic she was being, and Casey wouldn't say anything back to him. She would just smile and continue with her homework. At 8:00 on the dot, she would leave to go home. And by 8:02 Derek thought he was the loneliest person in the world.

Hockey season was just starting, so he would spend most of his nights watching that. But even hockey couldn't excite him. Some nights he would just stare at the door hoping Casey would come through. Anyone in fact, as long as it wasn't another nurse. He was sick of them, even the cute one was starting to bother him. He couldn't stand not being able to hear Casey's music blasting at night, or being able to tuck in Marti. The hospital seemed to be turning Derek mad.

Finally on the morning of the four day, the nurse told him he would be able to go home. And then she started to rattle of , "Your balance is off, you may be more dizzy than you were before. Also headaches will occur often, if this happens just take Advil like normal unless it get really bad then tell someone." Derek looked over at Casey and she gave him a you-better-tell-someone look. Referring to when he didn't tell anyone he was sick in the first place. The nurse continued, " Mood swings are common as well. When one comes up, it is best to avoid people, and glass." Derek flashed back to his uncle. "But I won't have 'mood swings'," putting air quotes around the words. Casey just rolled her eyes. But Derek could still see the worry in them. "Yes, but if you do please remember that." the nurse when on about do's and don'ts. He mostly just tuned in and out when he thought it would be useful. Finally the nurse was done and they were free to go. Derek still had to go to the doctors every Tuesday afternoon for a check-up.

The car ride home was filled with awkward silence with the occasional question from Marti. When they pulled up to the drive way, Derek was so happy to be home. He jumped out of there car and ran to the door. Realizing how stupid he must have looked he slowly walked inside. Sliding into his chair and flipping the T.V. on. As the rest of the family walked in, he noticed that his 'rents and Casey were being kind of quite. But his rumbling stomach made him leave those thoughts quickly. He jumped up so suddenly that he nearly fell over. For getting what the nurse had said just an hour before. He walked to the kitchen praying no one had seen his almost accident. He opened the fridge. Real food, was the only thought that went through his mind at the time. He turned around to find Casey staring at him like he was a wild animal.

"What?" he asked as a piece of chicken flew from his mouth. Casey just shook her head and sat down at the table. Derek grabbed some more food and joined her. They sat like that for a minute, Derek stuffing his face as Casey watched. When Derek finally came up for air he asked,

"Do you want something?" Casey jumped a little and shaking her head, checks turning a light pink.

"I am just so glad your home!" she replied. Her arms were reaching out for a hug. Derek jumped up, taking his plate with him.

"You know I don't do hugs," Casey's eyes looked hurt, he continued "Only cuz it would make people think I'm soft."

Casey chuckled, "And you weren't soft while you were at the hospital?"

"Spasey, that's a different story. I could have died there." Wrong choice of words.

"Your right, I shouldn't have brought it up," Derek could hear the shaking in her voice.

"Casey," he began but she already had run up to her room. Maybe the hospital had made him soft.

He sat down at the table again, his stomach wasn't hungry anymore now instead he felt a little sick.

"Oh, hey are your ready to go back to school tomorrow?" Derek turned to face the voice.

"Can't I play the sick card one more day, Dad?" his father didn't even laugh.

"Derek, you have missed enough school already," Derek cut him off.

"We don't even know if I'll finish this year." Dang, he did it again. So much for trying to get out of this one.

"Derek, your going to school tomorrow." his Dad's voice was strong but he could tell he was holding something in.

"Sorry, Dad." Was all Derek could mange to say as he left to go to his room. On his way, he hear crying coming from Casey's room. He knocked.

"Go away Derek!" he walked in.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked surprised. She just glared at him,

"What do you want?" she asked as he came to sit one the bed next to her.

"To say, I'm…sorry" she looked up at him with sad, questioning eyes.

"Your sorry?" she asked, not believing her ears.

"Um yea, isn't that what you say when you make someone mad?" he asked teasingly. She laugh at little. He was glad to see she wasn't mad at him anymore. They sat like that for a second,

"Maybe the hospital did make me soft," he said so quite that he didn't know if Casey could hear him. Casey laughed again harder this time. He got up to leave.

"Thanks, Derek"

"Your welcome?" he said, questioning why she thanked him. But she didn't catch the question.

"Goodnight, Derek" she said.

"Night, Case." He walked to his room and laid on his bed. Man, had it been a long day. He feel asleep quickly. Nightmares filled his head about going back to school tomorrow.


	3. Deny what's Real

"Derek, get up. Derek, honey, you have to get up." Nora never woke him up, it was always Casey.

"Why are you here?" he asked rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"You have to go to school remember." she said "Did you forget?"

"Uh yeah." but that wasn't what Derek had meant by the question. He meant why are you waking me up and not Casey. But he didn't correct her.

Going to his closet and picking out a shirt without really seeing it, he put it on. Grabbed some jeans and yanked them up. He rushed down stairs hoping that Casey hadn't left without him.

"Did Casey leave without me?" he asking trying to sound annoyed praying no one heard the panic in his voice.

"I was about too." he turned and found Casey standing by the door holding her bags and the keys. Derek grabbed his stuff and stole the keys from Casey.

"You think just cuz I'm sick you get to drive? Please." he stole the keys from her hands. He hopped in the car and Casey just stared at him. She jumped in.

"Derek don't be nervous." Casey said. He turned to face her.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have to worry about going to school, everyone likes you, you'll do fine." Casey said, now she was the one sounding nervous.

"Thanks mom" he said rolling his eyes, but on the inside he was hoping Casey was right.

They pulled up to the school and Casey got out. After a couple of minutes Derek got out, seeing that Casey had waited for him.

"It will be fine" she whispered one more time in his ear before hurrying off to find Emily. A chill went through his spine as he watched her walk away.

When Derek walked thought the doors he found himself over whelmed with people. Mostly girls telling him that they were glad he was doing better. A couple of guys from the hockey team high-fived him, glad to have him back. He couldn't deal with all the people. "Thanks everyone!" he yelled as loudly as he could "But I need to get to class now." Actually he had about ten minutes, but he was getting a massive headache and he couldn't think straight. He ran off to his class, and was sad to find Casey wasn't in there. Remembering he didn't have any classes with her. He didn't know why she kept going through his mind lately, but he couldn't stop thinking of her. And he really need to focus on other things, such as hockey, and um school. He hated to admit it but he was failing two of his classes. But he was hoping his teachers would give him a break, he had been in the hospital for fourteen days. Derek was defiantly going to use that excuse. Or try to anyway.

As he heard the bell ring he quickly popped some Advil, and hoped that was the end of his headache. When people started rushing in most of them wanted to talk to him. He would either just nod his head, or ignore them completely. Which he knew was wrong, but he didn't care, sick or not, he was still the Derek Venturi.

As the school day came to an end, Derek was getting really excited about going to hockey practice. He hadn't been in a while and he couldn't wait to feel his blades touch the ice again. He started to walk to the ice rink, going outside and taking a left, he suddenly heard a car honk at him. Well he thought it was at him, he was the only one out there. But if he didn't hurry he was going to be late to practice, so he just ran along. Derek walked down the hall and was about to open the door to the locker room when he heard his name being called. He turned around to find George and Casey walking quickly to him.

"What are ya'll doing here? I'm almost late to practice so could you hurry with what ever it is." he said getting slightly annoyed.

"Derek," George paused "me and Nora don't think it's the best idea to play hockey right now."

"WHAT?!" his dad must be kidding with him, he wouldn't make him give up one of the only reasons he had to live, besides girls.

"Well, we know how aggressive you get when you play hockey, and we agreed that you could hurt someone with your," his voice got quieter all most as if bringing it up would cause it to get worse "disease."

Derek and Casey both just stood there staring at George. Casey hadn't realized this is why they were coming in here, she thought they were just going to check-up on him.

"Dad! You can't do that to me! You know this is what I live for!" he yelled at his father. In the corner of his eye he saw Casey fuming. And then he heard Casey fuming, if that was even possible.

"You can't do that! The doctors didn't say he couldn't play. This is the only normal thing he has left!" she caught her breath and started to yell again. "So what if he gets mad and hurts someone! He'll get even more mad with you not letting him play!" Casey was right, Derek had never felt this angry in his whole life. He could feel his blood boil with hatred. His fingers curled. In the back of his mind, the part that hadn't gone crazy with rage yet, was thinking of how much he reminded himself as the Hulk right now.

Casey and George saw this and immediately started talking to him trying to calm him down. And he wanted to, believe me. He didn't want to flip out in front of Casey. But his body wouldn't listen. Derek started yelling words he didn't understand. He started punch the air, punching his bag, he turned to punch the wall, but Casey tried to hold him back. Bad idea. He turned and pushed her to the floor, now his yelling was directed towards her. She started crying and whispering for him to stop. His anger left him as quickly as it had come and he was soon crumpled on the floor. To ashamed to cry. He stood up, then he helped Casey up. Holding her in his arms for a second. George didn't even seemed to be bothered by it. Derek let her go and whispered that he was sorry to his dad. And disappeared into the locker room. His dad didn't even try to stop him this time.

He didn't play very good that day. Not only that but his coach didn't let him play that much. He didn't even care about that as much as he cared about how badly he must have hurt Casey. Casey, Casey, Casey. Was all that went through his head for a while until he hear his name being called. Finally something to keep his mind off of her. He skated around the rink twice before taking his spot on the ice. Then practice was over. Derek had barely even worked up a sweat. That was a first. He grabbed his bag and quickly took a shower.

As he turned to walk home he heard another honk. It was Sam. They rarely even talked after hockey practice. Derek walked over to his car.

"What's up man?" Derek asked.

"Just wondered if you wanted a ride home." Sam replied. Sam lived on the other side of town. But Derek hadn't seen him in awhile. He only visited Derek twice while he was in the hospital. And he hadn't even seen him that much today at school. To many people trying to talk to him.

"If that's okay," he began. "But only cuz it's really cold outside." Derek exhaled and saw his breath.

"Get in" Sam said. They were quickly on the road to his house. They talked briefly about what was wrong with him, but the rest of the time they just listen to the music. They got to his house.

"Alright, later dude." Sam said.

"Yea, thanks man." Derek said. He got out grabbed his bag out of the trunk and walked to the door. He watched Sam pull away, then turned back to the door. Taking a deep breathe, he opened the door. He knew he was going to be in so much trouble for yelling at Casey and his dad today.

"Oh man Casey." he said aloud. Remembering how horrified she looked today. He ran up the stairs, not even bothering to tell anyone he was home.

Derek stood out side her door for a while, then knocked.

"Um, hold on." Derek waited for a second. And then walked in. He found Casey putting something back on her book shelf. When she saw it was him she just glared at him. Then, suddenly like a switch had been flipped, she smiled at him. Derek lost his train of thought. The last time Casey smile, and the smile was directed at him was well… Never. Something was up.

"Yes Derek?" she asked the smile still glued to her face. Derek could tell it wasn't real. There was a smear of mascara under her left eye.

"Um," should he even apologize for early? If she wasn't going to bring it up, then neither was he. He didn't need to reminded himself of how angry he had gotten, over nothing. It frightened him over how little he could control his emotions. He didn't want to end up like Uncle Robert. No, he wouldn't end up like his uncle. He looked at his hand, it was shaking badly. Then he looked back up into her eyes. Her blue eyes.

"Yes?" she asked worry hiding in her voice.

"Just wanted to say goodnight sis." He didn't even realize he had said it until Casey asked,

"You aren't eating dinner with us?" Right now Derek wasn't hungry, at all. That was a first.

"Um, no. I'm just going to go lay down. Tell Nora and Dad that, that's were I am okay?" he didn't wait for her to reply. He went to his room and locked the door. He took his clothes off, leaving his boxers on. He laid down and with in minutes he was sound asleep.

It seemed like days had pasted before he woke up again. But when he looked at the clock it was only 3:36. He closed his eyes to go back to sleep, only to find his stomach growling so loudly that he thought it might wake up the whole family. He unlocked his door and ran downstairs. Derek opened the fridge and got out the leftovers from only a couple hours before. He grabbed a fork and sat down at the table. He looked up to find Casey staring at him. He jumped at what it felt like to be a foot high. Maybe his loud stomach did wake up someone in the house after all.

"Why are you up?" he asked her once his nerves had calmed.

"Couldn't sleep" she replied yawning. Derek noticed the huge bags under her eyes. He still felt horrible at yelling at her, so he pulled out the chair next to him and patted it. She looked from the chair to Derek several times before coming around to sit next to him. He took a few more bites of what ever it was that Nora had made.

"Why can't you sleep?" Casey looked at him for a while, almost not believing he asked her that. She whispered something that Derek couldn't hear.

"What?" She took a breath and repeated it.

"Ever since you went in to the hospital," she paused looking around the room hoping Derek wouldn't make her finish. But of course he was going to. That would be un-Derek like if he didn't.

"Ever since you went to the hospital I haven't been able to sleep well." she was looking at her hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Derek didn't know what to say.

They just sat there like that for a few minutes. Casey staring at her hands, Derek staring at her beautiful blue eyes. Casey moved uncomfortably under his gaze. Derek got up and put his bowl back in the sink. Then he bent down and whispered in her ear.

"Well, I hope you get more sleep tonight." then he left. He could hear Casey start to cry before he even got up the stairs.


	4. Crying is for Girls

**Last Chapter:**

"Why can't you sleep?" Casey looked at him for a while, almost not believing he asked her that. She whispered something that Derek couldn't hear.

"What?" She took a breath and repeated it.

"Ever since you went in to the hospital," she paused looking around the room hoping Derek wouldn't make her finish. But of course he was going to. That would be un-Derek like if he didn't.

"Ever since you went to the hospital I haven't been able to sleep well." she was looking at her hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Derek didn't know what to say.

They just sat there like that for a few minutes. Casey staring at her hands, Derek staring at her beautiful blue eyes. Casey moved uncomfortably under his gaze. Derek got up and put his bowl back in the sink. Then he bent down and whispered in her ear.

"Well, I hope you get more sleep tonight." then he left. He could hear Casey start to cry before he even got up the stairs.

MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR

Nora woke him up the next morning, and Derek didn't even bother to ask why Casey had stopped waking him up. He crawled out of bed, his back aching and walked across to the bathroom. Apparently, Casey had just gotten out of the shower because Derek could still smell her soap, and the room was steaming. He stood there for a minute and just breathed it all in. The smell calmed him down and relaxed his muscles. Boy, was he tense.

Not realizing how much time had past, he slowly started to take a shower. As he was testing the water to see if it was the right temperature he got a headache. But being Derek Venturi he deiced to just forget about it and get in. He stood there for a while just relaxing a little more. He figured if he was late to school he could just tell the Vice Principal that he got sick. He was sure he could at least use it this once.

His vision started to get a little blurry, but he thought it was just because he was really tired. In fact, suddenly he was more tired than he was when he first got out of bed. He decided sitting down would be a good idea. Just for a little while, even thought he loved it when Casey got mad at him. He figured he shouldn't test her nerves by making them really late to school. Especially after last night. He shuddered at the thought, and he was suddenly very cold. Even thought the shower water was burning hot.

'Something is wrong with me.' he thought as he tried to pull himself up. But his vision blurred, the room was spinning and the ground was getting very close to his face. The ground was right below him and pain went searing though his body. He tried to grab something to get a hold of but he was to weak to pull him self up.

'Crap, Crap, Crap. This sucks, now Casey will be pissed at me for sure.' he thought. 'Wait, How am I going to get up.' he sat there for a minute thinking through the ways. Holdingon to the faucet and pulling up with all his might, sounded like a good idea. So he tried. Why were his arms shaking? This was less work than doing a push up. But suddenly just the thought of doing a push up made his body shake in pain. He yelled out. And then realized it wasn't because the thought of doing a push up that made his body cringe. But the fact that the water around him was turning red. He mentally felt his body for a place that hurt. His foot was burning, he looked down to find three deep straight cuts going into the sole of his foot. Casey's razor was next to it cover in blood.

"Damn it!! CASEY!!" he yelled as loud as possible. Surely someone had heard him fall, but if they hadn't they would have heard him now. He slowly got up. Every inch of his body felt like he had just had hockey practice all day. And all he had done was take a shower! He couldn't even imagine what he would feel like after practice tonight.

He got dressed as fast as he could as he tried to stop the bleeding from his foot. When he finally thought it was done he put on his shoes slipping on a super thick bandage. And stuffed some in his pocket. He quickly popped three Advil's and ran/ limped down stairs.

Derek looked at the clock 8:15. Crap, they had to be there in five minute. He glanced around for Casey and found her sitting on the couch staring at the blank T.V. When she heard Derek come down she turned to look at him. He could see the impenitentness in her face, but she didn't vocalize it. A horrible thought washed over Derek.

'She isn't going to get mad at me anymore.' he frowned slightly. 'Just because I'm sick, that's not fair… Or maybe it is.'

He walked in to the kitchen trying not to show his pain that shot though his foot with every step. He poured himself some cereal. He was just finishing up went Casey walked in, looking at her watch.

"We really need to get going." Derek could hear the angry in her voice and see it on her face. Even though he could tell she was trying so hard not to show it. She didn't do a very good job.

"Oh yes, I suppose your right. Schools starts in," Derek glanced at the clock 8:22. "Well, school started two minutes ago." he gave her his famous smirk. He started at her until he thought she was going to hit something . But she just turned and walked to the door.

"Come on, DereK." she said letting her anger slip on the last syllable. 'Oh man, this is going to be so much fun.' Derek thought as he grabbed his back pack and jumped in the car.

When they got to school Casey jumped out of the car as quickly as she could, running to the doors of the school. Only glancing back once to make sure Derek was coming. But as she turned, she forgot there was one more step on the stairs and fell flat on her face, books flying everywhere. Since they were so late to school only a couple of students saw her fall ,but boy, did they laugh as she practically rolled down the stairs trying to get the papers that flew out of her books. Derek saw all of this, and at first he was laughing along with them. But when he heard the calling her name such as Kluzilla, his face felt like it was on fire. Only he could call her that, and only he could make fun of her. After all, she was his.

Not even thinking about what he had just admitted to himself, he dropped his books and ran at the first boy he saw laughing. His blood was racing through his veins right now. He could practically fell the adrenaline and hate rushing thought them. He shoved the kids to the ground and starting yelling at him. He was treating to hit him. When he felt some weak source trying to hold him back. He turned to face his new opponent and saw it was Casey. Her face was wet, and her nose was red.

It was then he realize what he was doing. He looked down at the kid, and recognized the face as one of his hockey team mates. His body shook and he wanted to run. So he turned and ran as fast as he could towards his house. His muscles yelling at him to stop. But he couldn't and he wouldn't until he was at home. Or until he fainted. Right now he didn't know which one would come first. Finally he saw his street sign, and he knew he would make it home. He could hear Casey driving slowly beside him on the road, but he didn't look at her. He reached his house but the door was locked. He banged on the door with all his might. His hand felt like it was broken but he didn't care. He couldn't cry in front of Casey. Who was now beside him, trying to calm him down. He took a step back so she could open up the door. He fought back tears as he ran up the steps. He slammed his door shut with his good hand and locked it.

Derek could hear Casey down stairs calling their parents, but he knew it would be a while till they showed up. They both worked an hour away. Which was extremely inconvenient . He cursed and sat down on his bed. After a couple of minutes he heard a knock on his door.

"What?" he asked knowing who it was since she was the only one else that was home.

"Can I come in?" she asked trying to turn the knob. He had forgotten that he locked it. He got up and unlocked it and then went to sit down at his computer, pretending like he was doing something important.

She walked in and sat down on his bed. She kind of just sat there, not knowing weather to speak or to listen. It was very un-Casey like Derek noted.

"Do you want something?" he finally asked trying to sound like he hadn't just been crying.

"Um, uh are you okay?" she managed to get out.

"Yup, I feel perfectly fine. So if that's why you're here the you can leave." Every word was a lie and Casey knew it. Of course he wasn't fine. His whole body screamed for him to lay down and sleep forever. And of course he didn't want Casey to go. She was the only think keeping him sane right now. She looked at him, and tired to smile.

"Well," she began. "I'm going to stay in here until George gets home."

"Oh, NO you aren't" Derek said, but he couldn't make it sound like he really meant it. Casey heard the lack of hate coming from him. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes. This was so un-like Casey that Derek started to freak out.

"Casey," he paused not know what to say. After a while he asked "Are you okay?""Yup, I feel perfectly fine." copying him. She opened her eyes and peeked at Derek. Just in time to see a silent tear roll down his check.

But he wasn't crying because of Casey or what ever was just happening between them. No, Derek's head felt like it was being spilt open and his hand and foot where throbbing.

"Derek" Casey asked alarmed at the sudden show of emotion coming from Derek.

"Casey I'm fine." He got up grabbing on everything he could to keep him up. Casey jumped up and grabbed his arm. Derek tried to shake it off but failed. She helped him to his bed.

"I could have made it on my own." Derek said trying to still sound strong.

"You are right. You could have." she weakly smiled and sat in his computer chair.

Derek fell asleep quickly but knew he wasn't dreaming when he felt Casey lay down on the bed next to him. He could hear her silent sobs but was way to tired to tell her it was okay.

Yet again Derek had hurt her. How many times would this happen. He wondered as he went in to a deep sleep.

**Sorry for this taking so long. I was with my Family and i haven't seen most of them in a while. **

**Please Review )**


	5. Laughter, whatever that is

**Thanks to all who reviewed before. Ya'll rock! **

* * *

George woke Derek up. Derek looked around his bed hoping his dad wouldn't be mad about Casey being in there. But she was no where to be found. His insides twisted and he laid back down.

"Derek? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" his dad questioned. What was with all the questions. He just woke up!

"Um, no dad. I'm fine.""How's you hand? Casey said that you might have hurt it." He really needed to stop with the questions. Wondering what time it was he looked at his clock. 7:12. He had slept for almost 9 hours. No wonder he had to pee like crazy.

"Dad, my hand is fine. Like I said before. I AM FINE. Now please leave. I'll tell you if I need anything" His father nodded and left the room. With that Derek jumped out of bed. Noticing he felt a lot better except his foot still hurt. He looked down, his shoes where off and so was his jacket. Someone must have taken them off for him. He all but flew to the bathroom and practically ran into the locked door.

"Who ever is in there better hurry!" he yelled. He held his crotch and did a little dance just as Casey was coming out of her room. Derek heard her burst into laughter.

"Glad to see you think my pain is funny." he said turning to look at her, stopping his dance.

She couldn't stop laughing but she finally got out.

"You could be a really good ballerina Derek." she started to chuckle again.

Derek twirled around on his foot, trying to mimic a ballerina but almost fell.

"Well, never mind. That twirl was horrible" she was still laughing as she walked down the stairs. Edwin came out of the bathroom.

"Sorry dude, its all yours." Edwin started to leave but didn't get far before Derek gave him a wet willy.

Derek was in a great mood all of a sudden.

When he can out of the bathroom he was greeted by Marti.

"Smerek! Did you have a good nap?" she shirked, jumping into his arms.

"Yes, Smarti I did!" he said while twirling her around.

"Are you coming to dinner?" she asked screaming in delight.

"Of course,"

When they walked down the stair Derek's stomach started to growl. Good thing there was a whole lot of food on the table. He sat down and took two of everything. Even the broccoli looked good tonight. He dug in, practically going face first in to his too full plate. When he finally came up for air he looked up and saw how Lizzie and Casey were looking at him like he was the most disgusting thing in the world. But he didn't care he was in such a good mood. Nothing could brake the way he felt.

Once he was done gorging himself with food. He plopped himself down on his chair, he propped up his feet. He flipped on the T.V. to a hockey game. His favorite team, the Penguins, where playing. He pulled up his shirt and started to rub his full belly.

"Ah, this is the life. Edwin, get me a soda and then come watch the game." he yelled at his brother.

"I see you have made a full recovery." Lizzie said as she came to sit on the couch.

"Lucky me." Edwin said. And then something odd happened. A strange feeling came up through Derek's throat.

It was uncontrollable.

A chuckle?

Then his chuckle turning in to a full on laugh.

"Mom, I think Derek broke a circuit!" Lizzie screamed but it only made Derek laugh harder.

What was wrong with him? He rarely ever laughed at Edwin's jokes. But he had never laughed at Lizzie's jokes.

Marti walked in and started laughing with him, not even knowing what was going on.

"Seriously Nora! I think Derek is dying!" Edwin yelled.

Derek's face was now bright red. He could barely breath. And his stomach hurt so much. He finally stopped, but almost lost it again when he saw George, Nora and Casey came running in the living room. Casey's face had a horribly funny look on it. He couldn't help it. He doubled over in laughter. Marti's laughter still going strong. Every one else started to chuckle along. They weren't nearly as loud as Derek and Marti, but they were laughing none the less. The only one that didn't laugh was Casey. Her forehead bunched up with worry lines. But when she found the Derek was looking at her, she smiled and pretended to laugh. It didn't work very well, all that came out was a nervous grunt

After everyone had gone to bed Derek walked down to the kitchen to get some water. His tummy felt a little sick but other than that he felt perfect. His foot seemed better as well. As he was coming down the stairs he heard voices. Casey voice was the loudest over the other.

"Mom, don't you see." she began. "Tonight was another episode for Derek. The doctor said that he would lose control over his emotions sometimes. And tonight he couldn't control his laughter!" Derek could hear her voice cracking.

"Casey, I know, but its okay, we are going to start taking Derek to sessions where they teach him how to control his emotions better."

"But mom, that won't stop from it getting worse! Derek could die!" Derek's heart stopped for a moment causing him to take a deep breathe. He didn't think Casey would care if he die. He thought that if he did she would take him room and the family would forget about him. Maybe he was wrong.

"Shh, shh," Nora said comforting her daughter. "They hospitals are trying to find a cure but we don't know how long that will take."

'Great Nora make her feel worse.' Derek thought.

He heard someone take a deep breathe.

"I guess you are right. Mom thanks."

"About what? What did I say?" Nora questions trying to think back trying to find her advice.

"About not knowing the out come, what ever it will be, it's not in our hands. Even the doctors can't control if Derek will live or die. Even if they do find a cure. All we can do is hope and pray." Casey took another deep breath.

"Wow, I don't remember saying all that, but I'm glad that you can see it that way." Nora said a little suspired.

There was a silence, he guessed they were hugging. Or something girly like that. Then he hear Casey coming up the stairs. He had to hide. Too late, she spotted him. She stopped on the step she was on,

"Where you listening in on us?" her face a little worried. He could tell that her poker face was getting a little better. But not much.

"What? No, why? Where you talking to your boyfriend or something." Derek knew it didn't make sense, but he was hoping she would buy it.

"Ha, no it's one o'clock. That would be rude to wake him." she said with a smirk on her face as she passed him on the stairs. Derek fell back. Casey had a boyfriend, since when? He trying to think of a come back, but before he could she was gone. Derek wasn't even thirsty anymore. He went straight back to bed.

So many thought where racing through his head.

' How long had she had a boyfriend? What was this 'session' stuff Nora was talking about? Was he really going to die? Who was Casey 's boyfriend? Would the doctors find a cure? Would it be to late for him?'

And then one thought came to his mind. All the others went away and it was as if it had been staring him in the face all along.

"I only have one life. No other chances to live. " he said aloud. He pulled out his phone and looked through the numbers.

"Hey Bethany, yeah I know its late."

"I know, Do you want to go to a club with me tomorrow night?"

"Why not I'm Derek Venturi."

"No, its not contagious."

"What? No, there is no way you could catch it."

"Fine, this is a once in a life time chance and now its gone."

"Whatever" he chunk his phone across the room. Luckily it landed in a pile of clothes so it didn't wake anyone, but that didn't matter. He was pissed.

Bethany, had said know to him. Derek Venturi. Apparently she thought she could catch his diseases.

He wonder if all the girls thought this. He got up to get his phone and dial Kendra's number. They had broken up long ago, but he knew she would know all the gossip about what the girl thought about him now, and she would also tell the truth and not give a lame excuse.

"Hey Kendra. It's Derek call me back when you can. It's important." he hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. He was praying that not all the girls would be scared of him now. That and hockey was the only reason he lived, well and messing with Casey, but that was different.

**Hope you like it. It's not my best. Tell me what you think, and what I should work on. But don't be too mean please. Lol Thanks!! **


	6. Dreams like this

* * *

"And you expect me to believe you?" she asked coldly.

"Yes," he replied. "Come on Casey you know I would never cheat on you."

"And so catching you making out with that girl was not cheating?" Casey question slithered out.

"What? I, She came on to me." he said trying to defined himself.

"Whatever. Get out! Just get out!" Casey yelled in his face.

"Fine, but you will never find anyone that can fill my place." he yelled back while grabbing his coat.

Derek heard Casey coming up the stairs and ran to his room. He had been listening from the hall. Moments later he heard a knock on his door.

"Um, come in?" he half asked. The door opened, it was Casey, or someone that looked a lot like her. Derek didn't know that she owned nice frilly underwear. Her bra was cherry red, as of right then it was Derek's new favorite color. And she had red matching panties.

"Casey, I um, what?" He stammered trying to get words out. This wasn't like Casey. Why was she in his room like this? Right now?

"Derek? Me and my boyfriend just broke up. And he broke my heart." she placed a hand over her right breast and Derek couldn't help but stare. If Casey got mad at him for it, he could always use the fact that she was in his room. Half naked!

"Well, I yea I heard." It wasn't like Derek to stumble over words. No girl had ever made him lose train of thought.

"So, I was wonder if I could stay in here and talk to you, until I forget about him." she asked slowly walking over and sitting next to him on the bed.

Derek couldn't think as straight but he finally got something that made sense out.

"I'll do whatever you want." something he wouldn't normally say to a girl. He let his eyes roam over her body.

"Oh, Derek, I just came in here to talk. Why else would I come in here?" she laughed and placed her hand on his thigh. He winced, he was pretty sure that was supposed to feel so good.

"I'm so glad you're my brother. I feel so comfortable talking to you about everything. And its never awkward because nothing like that could ever happen between us right?" she sweetly smiled at him as she rubbed his leg with her hand. She got up to leave. Derek watched her all the way to the door.

When she reached the door she turned to say,

"Thanks for being the best brother ever!" she winked at him and she was gone.

"Step brother." he corrected her under his breathe.

"Derek, Derek! My gosh this boy can sleep like a rock." he hear Nora yelling to someone.

"Go away!" he was not in the mood for talking. All he could think about was the dream he had just had. Casey was…. He couldn't finish that sentence. It was too wrong. But his body had already responded to the dream. He could feel the pressure coming from under his boxers. He groaned.

"Nora, I'm up! Just go away!" he yelled extremely embarrassed that he had reacted that way to his dream.

She was his step sister after all. He couldn't think of her like that. But the bulge in his boxers told him that he did. He looked at the clock. It was way to late to take a cold shower. He put on his clothes and moaned quietly as he pulled up his pants. He brushed his teeth and washed his face a quickly as he could. All the while with the dream in the back of his mind. But it wasn't the image of Casey that was playing over and over in his head… Well that image was too but when dream Casey said

' I feel so comfortable talking to you about everything. And its never awkward because nothing like that could ever happen between us right?' it made him shudder. I mean of course Derek didn't like Casey. Like he said that would be wrong, but knowing that she felt that way hurt. Okay, so it wasn't really Casey that said that, but it was something Casey would say.

Derek rushed down the stairs gabbing his jacket and school bag on the way.

"Took long enough." guess she wasn't going to try and be nice today. His lower area stirred as she saw what she was wearing, nothing too revealing because come on its Casey, but just enough to make Derek wonder.

He hated this feeling of not knowing what was going to happen. Because as of right now he didn't know how he would control himself around Casey. I mean it was just one dream! A dream where they didn't even kiss! He had had so many other dreams where him and other girls had gone farther than kissing. But this dream made him think, and open his eyes. Casey caught him staring.

"Oh you have something on your skirt," he said when he found her looking at him funny. She twisted and turned trying to find what he was talking about.

When Derek started the car the music blared so loudly he thought his ear drums would burst. Who had been in here last? It was Casey, he remember. He looked over to she if she reacted the same way, flinching and putting her hands over her ears. But she hadn't she was sitting there looking at the window. The suddenly the music went back to the same volume. He glanced around wondering what just happened. He looked at Casey to she if she heard it to.

"Come on Derek, I think we are late enough." she grumbled to him. What was her problem? More importantly what was his? So many things where happening to him that the doctor hadn't told him about. Such as muscle pain, ear aches, ect.

The only thing they had prepared him for was the fits he had. And even then he didn't feel so prepared. About anything that was happening in his life right now. School, friends, girls, his illness. Casey. He glanced over at her again. She wasn't looking at him, but her checks were turning bright red. Could she read his thoughts! Did she hear him thinking about his dream of her. Of course not, maybe he really was going crazy. Mind reading. Ha! Then he remember, the throbbing in his pants was still there, not as hard as he had been this morning. But noticeable enough for someone sitting, say two feet away, could notice it. When they pulled up, this time it was Derek's turn to hop out as quickly as he could.

"Have good day Case." he said as he left. Have a good day? What the crap was that. But Casey didn't say anything she was still sitting there moving slowly. She kind of nodded her head and that was all Derek saw. He was off trying to get as far away from Casey as he could.

If she could read his mind, then he didn't want her to see what was playing in his head right now. In fact, maybe he should stop think about it to. It wasn't helping out his little problem.

He ran off to class, remembering he had to ask Kendra what was up with all the girls. And why they had the nerve to turn him down. As he walked down the hall, all the girls smiled at him and said 'hi' but none came up to him. It was very odd not to have girls around him while he was at school. He turned the corner and zeroed in on Kendra. He was going to find out what the rumor that was going around was once and for all.

**Sorry this is so short. And its different. Anyway thanks! **


	7. School is for the Living

**Sorry is has been so long! I know , its been like a month, but school as been crazy! Tell me what you think and tell me what I should work on and what you would like to see! **

**THANKS EVERYONE! **

"Kendra, we need to talk" Derek said pulling her aside.

"Whoa, Derek we are dating anymore, you realize this?" she said putting her hands up and pulling away from his touch.

"What? Yes I do." he replied.

"Oh, that's why no girl will talk to me. They think we are still dating." he muttered to himself, but Kendra heard him.

"Um, no that's not why." she said with a worried expression on her face.

"Okay so why is it?" this was getting really annoying, could she not just answer the question.

"Derek, your sick, I'm sorry but know one want to get to close to someone that could die." she said without even a tad bit of feeling.

Derek never thought of it that way. But still sick or not, he should still be raking girls in like its fall. That was just a lame excuse for girl being scared to date him, he decided. He didn't even reply to Kendra, he was done with her. Done with all girls from this school.

He went to his locker getting his books, and walked to the first class. Half way though the class he realize that there was no point in even going to school. If he was going to die, he should do it alone and stupid. Why not. In the middle of the lecture he asked for the bathroom pass. Why have school, when I could be at the mall hooking up with all the college girls I can find? He got to his car and just sat there for a little while. Half wishing someone would be running out after tell him to come back to class, or asking if they can go to where ever he was going.

But apparently people don't want to hang with him, because 'he could die'. He deicide to label all people stupid and just leave it at that.

He pulled up to the mall parking lot, this mall was very close to the college and he was praying that he would get lucky. Derek wouldn't tell anyone but he has never done 'it', and if he was going to die he better do it soon. Might as well, right?

As Derek entered the mall he scanned for any hot girls, so far, none. He should have known this wasn't going to be a good idea. It was 10:30 on a week day. No one would be at the mall. He walked to his favorite store, just in case there was anyone there. In the back of the store he saw a glimpse of long brownish hair. He followed her around for awhile until he decided to make his move. He hadn't made a move on a girl for a while and he was hoping he wouldn't be to rusty.

"Hey, why aren't you in school missy?" he asked her coming up behind her.

"Excuse me?" She asked turning around.

"Hi, I'm Derek," he usually didn't have to finish. Most people knew his name already and they would finish it for him.

"Venturi" he finished. The girl hadn't even flinch, so he repeated. Maybe she hadn't heard him, the music was a little loud.

"Derek Venturi" he said sticking out his hand this time.

"Morgan Baker" she replied, smiling a little. Not enough though. Something was wrong. Why were her eyes green? This wasn't right, no her eyes have to be blue. Why it mattered, he had no clue. There was nothing special about blue eyes. He would just have to ignore it.

"So Morgan, do you want to go somewhere with me?" he asked with his little smirk.

"Considering that you are probably 16 and this is your first time to skip school, no thanks." she said with a fake smile.

"But you are cute," she added. "Maybe in like 3 years."

"Yeah, your right," Derek replied. " You should mature a little more. Bye" he turned to leave. Wow, how much had he sounded like Casey just then. Casey. Blue eyes. Damn it! He remember why green had been so wrong.

He ran to the parking lot, he needed a blonde girl with brown. And he needed one now! Derek could feel the little boiling of his blood, but he wouldn't let color of someone's eyes get him angry. That was just plain stupid. He took calm breathes that he had seen Casey do whenever she would get upset. It helped. A little.

He pulled up to the park near his house hoping there would be some girls running, in sports bras here. He ran a lap around the track, when he remember how badly his body had been aching. But he hadn't ran in so long.

"At least three more laps," he grunted to himself, the image of girls completely erased from his memory.

Four laps later, Derek was drenched in sweat. He felt so gross, he wanted, no needed to shower. But it was only 12:45 now. He couldn't go home, what if someone was there. He could take a dip in the Davis's pool. That was always possible, everyone would be gone from there house anyway. He decided that running to their house would be the best choice, other wise his parents might see his car on the street. He would just have to be very sneaky. And being sneaky was something Derek was good at.

When he reached the pool he stripped down to his boxers. He was so sweaty he almost could have rung out his clothes and put the sweat in a bucket. That thought made him laugh. When he realized he hadn't laughed at any thing in so long. The last person to make him laugh was Casey. He could never control his laughter around her, same with Marti. They were both so funny, that he couldn't even try to hold back his laughter. Well not anymore with Casey, he used to be so good at hiding his feelings, now he felt like an open book.

He suddenly realized how long he had been standing at the edge of the pool when a strong breeze blew on his back, causing him to shiver, bringing him back to Earth.

He dived in the pool the cool water relaxing his hard muscles.

Derek didn't know how long he had been in the pool, but when he heard his stomach growl, when it was underwater. He knew it was time to get something to eat. But where to go. He could get things at Wal-Mart. No one there would care if he was at school or not. A litter of coke and two bags of chips later, he crashed in his car, setting his phone to wake him up 15 minutes before school got out. He has found that as long as your are school in the morning and the last 30 minutes or so, most of the time his parents wouldn't find out.

He didn't understand how that worked. But he wasn't about to ask the secretary that.

As he got back to school he found Casey talking to Sam with a very worried expression on her face. 'What was wrong now.' He wondered.

He snuck up behind them.

"Hey guys! What's up?" he asked letting a little bit of care slip in to his voice.

"Derek!" Casey's eyes lit up a little. Why did he have to see that. He didn't want to see that.

"Derek, man where have you been?" Sam asked. Well he knew at least two people cared that he had gone. Well he didn't actually know if Casey cared, or if she just didn't want to get in trouble for not knowing where he was when she got home.

"Around," he said with a smile.

"Ah! Dude did you meet someone?" Derek just nodded. Sam didn't have to know everything. Nor did Casey.

"What happened? Was she hot?" Sam asked. Derek just laughed.

"You know I only go for hot blondes." he said letting a smirk surface to his lips. Watching Casey reaction to this was going to be good. But she just turned to her locker and then ran off to where ever.

"Nice Bro! Dude, you're my hero!" Sam said with the biggest grin.

"I know." he replied. But Derek wasn't feeling like such a super hero right now.

Why had Casey left so quickly. Didn't she realize that he was her ride home?


	8. The Anger of Truth

Derek found Casey waiting for him by his car.

"What took you so long?" was all she said as she got in the car.

"Whoa, calm down. You must have been standing here for like two minutes!" she didn't reply when he got in the car. Finally she said.

"Do you really think you should be driving?" she paused awhile. " I mean what if you get a headache and get us in a wreck? No, I think I should drive." What in the world was she talking about? He was an excellent drive, well not really but he didn't need Casey to drive him around like she was his personal driver.

"Casey, I think I know how to drive. And besides it is my car after all." he said as he turned to look at Casey. She didn't even seem to remember that they were having a conversation. So Derek just started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

On the way home Derek turned on the radio, forgetting how loud it had been before, he turned it up even more. When the radio came on, Casey jumped so high her head almost touched the roof.

"Derek could you please turn it down?" she half yelled at him. But he just played it as he couldn't hear her, partly because he really couldn't hear what she was saying. However, he was pretty sure he had an idea. Casey finally just reached over and turned off the radio.

"Hey!"

"Well, if you had turned it down." she suggested.

"Well, if you weren't in such a bad mood. Casey you really need to chill, why are so you up tight?" he asked trying to make it sound like an insult instead of making it sound like he cared.

" Why aren't you? You're the one that might die! Derek, do you not understand that?" she started to breath harder. "We never know how much time any of us have. And yours might just be shorter than everyone else's." her voice was shaking so badly Derek barely understood what she was saying.

"Yes Casey, I might die. But I will die sooner if I see you crying; please not in front of me!" he yelled, looking the other way.

"You should care more. Its your life!" she replied, her voice barely over a whisper.

"And you shouldn't care! Look its MY life. Okay? Don't you understand? If I spend all my time worrying about when I die, then I won't get to live my very short life." he was on the border line of angry. Threatening to cross it at any moment. They pulled up to there house. He stopped the car and hopped out. She shouldn't care about his life. Why couldn't she just let him live it? He stopped when he got up the stairs, his temples felt like bullets had just gone through them. The light was way to bright, and everything was spinning. He had to get to his bed before anyone, especially Casey, saw him like this. He ran to his room and shut the door behind him. His vision was so blurry he could barely make out his bed. When he got there he didn't even bother to get under his covers, he simply just collapsed on it. His bed smelt better than it usually did, and it was a tad softer. Maybe Nora had washed his sheets. But the smell reminded him more of Casey, maybe this was Casey's… but before he could finish that thought he was asleep with his head buried in pillows that smelt of lilies and lavender. 

He kept being slightly awaken by things bumping in to his bed and whispers with his name being spoken. But none of this fully awakened him. He was to deep in sleep, to lost in his dreams to even, suddenly a loud bang awakened him.

"Hey! What the hell was that?!" he asked looking around the room. 

Pink and Blue walls, along with a little yellow was all he saw. Sitting in a chair next to him was Casey.

"Oh look, your awake. Now could you please get out?" her voice was still full of pain from before.

"How did I get in your room?" he asked, he half way knew the answer. But he wasn't going to show that he was to weak that he couldn't even make it to his own.

"Casey, did you bring me in here so that you could watch me sleep? That's a little weird, even for you." he smirked and sat up on her bed.

"What, No! You were in herewhen I came upstairs! Why were you-"

"Yea, I'll here your story another time. But fornow I think I'll go get something to eat." Derek jumped up from her bed. Black spots flashed in his eyes, and the floor was moving up and down. He grabbed hold of the head board.

"Derek, are you okay?" Casey askedjumping to her feet. All anger disappeared. 

"Yeah, I just stood up to quickly that's all. We aren't all clumsy like you." he faked a laugh just to give proof he was okay. The floor was still moving up and down when he let go of the headboard. And when he took his first step the black spots came back, and when he fell, well his world was black.

The constant beeping in the back ground half scared him, half gave him hope. He opened his eyes to whiteness again.

"How long?" he asked hoping someone would know what he meant, his throat was to dry to say much else.

"How long have you been in here?" answered the voice. He nodded his head a little.

"Just 8 hours." the male replied.

"He is probably thirsty." came another voice. A female voice. An angels voice. A demons voice. He nodded his head again.

Derek sat up and looked around for the people, and the water. A cup was place in front of his face. Edwin had a cup in his hands. Should Edwin be awake at this hour? He saw George asleep on the little chair and Casey sitting on the sofa. The clock read 2:41 am.

"Why are ya'll here?" Derek asked his voice cracking. He quickly grabbed the Styrofoam cup and drained it.

"Come on bro, I wouldn't leave ya here. And Dad is well dad and Casey…" Edwin paused and turned. "Casey why are you here?"

"I was going to take you home when he woke up. So I guess it time to go." she replied with a yawn.

"No, I can't leave! He just woke up. He could need something and no one will be here to help." Edwin cried.

"Yea, George and all the nurse would be no help at all." Casey snapped back.

" Calm down Casey," Derek cleared his throat. "How about you go home and Edwin stays here? Edwin get me more water." Edwin was out the door before Derek had finished the sentence.

"I am not leaving him here with you to boss him around. Its almost 3 am. He has school tomorrow." Casey screeched.

"Casey, why are you mad? He just wants to stay with his cool big brother. There is nothing wrong with that. So count to ten, breath, and then leave. Or leave and count to ten while breathing. Either way, as long as your gone." he smirked to himself. Yes he did know that it would hurt her feelings, but he couldn't let her see him like this. Casey looked crushed, or tired. Which ever one it was, it made him feel like his stomach was turning inside out. 

"On the other hand, you don't look like you could drive home and stay awake. Maybe you should stay. And yes I do realize I'm being nice. So take the moment while you can." He smiled at her. Derek could see the gears graining in her head, the smoke fuming from her ears but before she could reply Edwin ran in with three water bottles.

"Here you go Derek," he said while opening one of the water bottles. "I'm staying by the way. I can skip school tomorrow, or Dad can take me and I can sleep here."

Casey opened her mouth but Derek beat her to the punch.

"Good, Casey was just telling me how she didn't think she could make it home without falling asleep. And how she didn't want to go to school tomorrow anyway." Derek chuckled. But Casey didn't fight back, she just sat down on the sofa and grabbed a pillow.

"Really? Thanks Casey! I can't believe your willing to miss school for Derek!" Edwin sang.

"Me either." Derek whispered so low that no one could hear.

"Its not for Derek.I just don't want to hear you whine all the way home. Edwin you have to sleep."

"Casey, I was just kidding. You don't have to stay." Derek began. But Casey just put a finger to her lips. "Both of you go to sleep, Derek your going home in the morning."

With that she turned over on the very small sofa and went to sleep. Leaving enough room for Edwin when he went to bed. But Derek had a feeling that wouldn't be any time soon. Edwin hoped up on his bed and began asking questions about something.

"Hey, Ed?" Derek cut him off. "Could you help me to the bathroom?"

"Uhhh.."

Casey just chuckled softly. Good, Derek hadn't heard her laugh in so long. And that was what he was going for. But still, he had to go.


	9. Feeling Alone

Derek hadn't gotten that much sleep last night, in fact he would be surprised if he had gotten an hour. Partly because he couldn't help from watching Casey as she slept on the sofa. He had never noticed it but Casey moves a whole lot when she sleeps. And plus the hospital beds were really uncomfortable. By the next morning he was so tired that he could barely stay awake while the nurses asked him questions to make sure he was better. The drive back home with George was quite, Derek didn't even bother to turn the music on. Derek went straight to his room when they got home. But when he laid down he couldn't go to sleep his mind was on high speed.

Well maybe he could go hang with someone. He picked up his phone to call Sam when he realized it was 11:30 on a school day. All his friends would be at school. For once in his life Derek wished he could be at school. He felt so alone, no one knew what is was like to go through this. And no one was there to help him, or be his friend. He had no one to talk to about this, no one even cared to call him or text him to wonder why he wasn't at school today.

After a couple of minutes with his pity party, he decided to man up and go watch T.V. down stairs, since he had nothing else to do. He turned on a hockey game and grabbed some chips out of the kitchen. After a couple of hours he was still really bored, not even hockey could cheer him up. He went back up stairs when he noticed that Casey's door was slightly open. 'A little peek couldn't hurt.' he thought. And snuck inside, and shut the door behind him.

"Now where is your diary?" he whispered to the empty room. He reached under her pillow. "No, even Casey wouldn't be that stupid." Derek looked everywhere. 'Maybe she takes it with her to school' he thought. "Or maybe she leaves it on her night stand?" he said while picking up the purple spiral notebook. He flipped to the back of the book trying to find to most resent entry.

Derek quickly realize that it isn't her diary. Its her song journal. He puts it down, he can't cross that line. There is a difference between private thoughts and private songs and feelings. Derek use to write songs as well and he just couldn't read someone else's personal private thoughts. Even if they were Casey's.

He rushed back to his room, digging around trying to find his old song book. When he finally found it he saw that his last entry had been two months before he found out about his disease.

Now all the things he had written about meant nothing to him. Sure he still liked making out with random girls, and playing hockey. But that wasn't his world anymore.

In less than two months his whole world had shifted. Now his focus was getting to school the next day. Because, yes, he really did want to go. He couldn't wait for Sam and Ralph to get out of school so they could hang out. He hadn't seen them in what felt like forever. He laid down on his bed again hoping he could sleep away the next 45 minutes before they get out of school. He brain was calmer than his had been early this morning but he still felt completely alone.

An hour later he text Sam and Ralph. Twenty minutes later Sam replied with: 'D. Cant tonite buddy hanging with gf. Later?'

Since when did Sam have a girlfriend. It really bothered him that Sam didn't even bother to ask how Derek was feeling or anything about that.

Ralph replied five minutes after Sam: 'Derek. dude y weren't u at skool today? Cant tonite gma got sick. Sorry man. Hope u feel better.'

Why in the world did everyone have something to do tonight. Well okay so just his two best friends. But he really didn't want to hang with anyone else. He walked out in to the hall when he was Casey bring all of her school supplies in her room.

"Homework on a Friday night?" He asked.

"Well at least someone's feeling better. Yes, Derek you should do some too. Considering how much school you have missed and how much make up work you have to do." Casey said in all one breath. He just rolled his eyes and walked down the stairs.

He started to dial a random number on his phone from a girl he had met long ago when he remember that every girl he talked to would probably just blow him off. He turned his phone off and sat down in his chair.

"ED! Do you want to play Babe Rider with me?" Derek yelled through the house.

"Ah, Sorry D!" Edwin yelled back from his room. He heard a running sound and then Edwin said from the top of the stairs, "Lizzie and I are going to a birthday party tonight."

"You'd rather go to a birthday party than play video game with your brother all night." he asked.

"Derek I'm sorry but its my girlfriend's party. I have to go, or she will kill me." He whined.

"Your 13 and your already whipped." Derek said trying to cover how hurt he was that ever one in his family had something to do that night.

He walked back up the stairs and knocked on Casey's door.

"Come in!" She called.

"Hey, Casey. Want to do something tonight?" he asked while he sat on her bed.

"With you? No, anyway like I said before I have a lot of homework to do." her voice was still as bitter as it had been yesterday. 'What is her problem?' Derek questioned in his mind.

He walked into the hall and ran in to Marti who was carrying Sir-Monks-A lot.

"Hey Smarti." Derek sang while picking her up and spinning her around.

"Smerek!" she screamed with delight.

"Smarti want to go play a game?" he asked praying that his little sister wouldn't be busy too.

"Sure, Smerek! I'll go get the 'Shoots and Ladders' board game." she jumped down from his arms and ran off to the game closet.

In no time Smarti had beaten Derek four times in a row.

"Smarti you have beaten me so many times at this game do you want to play another one?" he asked.

"Fine Smerek." she dashed up stairs to get another game.

Two hours and four different games later, Marti announced she was very tired and she was going to bed.

"Smarti is only 8:30." Derek couldn't believe Marti was going to bed early for the first night in her life.

"I'm really really tired." she complained. She kissed Derek on the check and ran up stair to get ready for bed. A few minutes later Marti asked from the top of the stair. "Smerek, can you put me to bed?"

"Sure, I'll be right up." He switched of the T.V. and walked up the steps in to Marti's room. Marti jumped in her bed and nestled down in it. For the next two minutes Derek and Marti spend rearranging her stuffed animals before Derek could begin his bed time story. Half way through the book Marti was sound asleep. Derek kissed her on her head and snuck out leaving the door cracked open just like she likes. He went to his room and laid down. It was only 8:45 and he still had nothing to do.

Maybe he could go to the park again and just relax. It may not be what he was looking to do on a Friday night but at least he could get some air and relax. He grabbed his coat and yelled to his parent that he would be at the park.

He walked over to the bench by the play ground. A women was sitting there watching the children play. He sat on the other side of the bench. Derek just sat there exhaling all his worries and relaxed there for awhile. When he opened his eyes all the sunlight was gone and the streetlights had switched on. He got up and started to walk back to his house when he saw a silhouette walking towards him

"Casey, what are you doing out here?" he asked when he realized who it was.

"Um, I was just coming out for a walk, can I not do that?" she said stumbling over her words.

"Your lying." he chuckled silently.

"What?" she asked.

"Look Casey we both know you are lying. So please tell me why you are really out here."

"Ugg. I was just coming to make sure you were okay. When you didn't answer your phone I thought something might have…" she trailed off.

"My phone is off Casey. And I wasn't out here that long so how about you just go back inside and leave me alone." Derek said forcing a smirk on his face. Casey didn't move.

"What?" he asked trying to sound annoyed.

"Nothing." she whispered. She turned around to go.

"What is with your random mood swings Casey? One minute your mad at me, the next your checking up on me?" he yelled at her. But she kept on walking. She didn't even glance back. He ran up beside her but they both didn't say anything for a while.

"Derek just drop it. Please." she begged. Derek remand silent.

When they got home Derek follow Casey to her room.

"What are you doing?" Casey asked, her voice a little cracked.

"Can we just talk about.." he began.

"Derek, can we talk about it in the morning?" she asked.

"Um, sure." he turned to leave.

"Derek?"

"Yes?" he asked turning back around.

"Goodnight."

"Night Casey." He went to his room and laid in bed for a while thinking about what he would say to Casey in the morning.

"Derek?" he heard someone whisper.

"Yes?" he asked opening the door.

"Smerek can I sleep with you tonight. I'm scared, there is something in my room."

"Smarti, do you want me to check and see. And if there aren't any will you sleep in your room tonight?" he said walking to Marti's room and turning on the light.

"Smerek. No please can't I just sleep in your room? " she begged. Derek realized something. Marti is a smart girl, and she hasn't be afraid of monsters in almost a year.

She was scared of losing her big brother to the 'monsters'.

"Yea, Smarti. You can sleep with me tonight. Here, go to my room and I will get all of your animals"

"Thanks Smerek." she smiled and skipped back to his room. He watched her, Marti was so innocent. He was sad to think about how soon she would be his age. And even sadder when he realized he may not see her at this age. He got all her animals and brought them back to his room. But Marti was already asleep.


	10. Blinding News

For the second night in a row, Derek had gotten very little sleep. Marti had a lot of stuffed animals, and that wasn't even the worst part. She moved, a lot. He barely had any room for himself to move. Half way through the night he ended up sleeping on the floor. Then when Marti woke up the next morning Derek would just crawl back in the bed a sleep the day away.

Or that was the plan. At 8:15 Marti woke Derek up for 'family breakfast'. At first Derek thought Marti was making it up but then he noticed that the whole family was indeed down stairs having breakfast together.

"Have we always done this?" Derek asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Done what?" Lizzie asked back. Her voice being to happy for Derek.

"Have we always had Saturday morning breakfast together?" he asked again, looking around this time he noticed that nearly everyone was dressed for the day ahead of them. Everyone expect himself and Marti who had just woken up.

"Well, we have," Lizzie said pointing around the room to the rest of the family.

"But you were always asleep when we had it and we didn't think we should wake you up." The rest of the family had been eerily quite for this whole conversation, expect Marti who was having an intense conversation with Daphne.

"So why am I being waken up now?" Derek paused a moment, but no one answered "Guys what is going on?" again no reply. " Why aren't you talking to me?" he began to stand up. Marti quickly shut up and Lizzie scooted closer to Casey. No one else changed what they were doing.

Nora cleared her throat " Derek, if you would like to go back to bed. It would be fine with the rest of us. However, I am sure the rest of the family would love for you to stay and have breakfast with us." Derek stared at Nora for a second. The glanced around the table. They were all silent again.

"Are you all robots? Is something wrong with you all? Because I can promise you there is nothing wrong with me! Why in the world are ya'll acting like this?" Derek couldn't control his voice, he was way past yelling.

"Edwin is there something you would like to help me understand?" he yelled at his younger brother, who was glaring at his food with a horrible look plastered on his face.

"Dad?" he paused.

"Casey?…. Casey please tell me what is going on?" his voice slowly softened. But Casey wouldn't even look him in the eyes. She was in a very odd position, her body looked as if it could shatter at any second and that Derek's very words could cause her to come crumbling down.

"Casey, please look at me." His eyes started to fill with tears when he realize that Casey wouldn't.

"Kids could all of you please go up stair as we talk with your brother." No one moved.

"Now!" George yelled. Lizzie, Edwin and Marti all started to get up.

"Casey," Nora said placing a hand on her daughter's arm.

A strange noise came from her throat. Derek couldn't make out what it was exactly, its scared him in ways he didn't understand.

"No, let her stay. It can't be that bad of news." he whined.

"Derek," George begin.

"Look I don't need a sermon. So please what ever you are going to say, please, just get on with it." Derek yelled at his dad. Casey looked nervous standing on the stairs. Derek could see that she had begun to shake.

"Derek, the doctors… the doctors have said that you aren't, improving at all." Derek's thoughts went blank, he could see nothing else but Casey grabbing for dear life to the stair case because she was shaking so badly.

"They said that at this rate that you are going at it is a possibility that…" George stopped letting everyone else fill in the gap.

"Derek's going to die." Casey said after a couple of minutes of silence. Hearing a noise after everything being so quite was very startling.

"Casey," Nora began walking over to Casey.

"I'm fine." Casey replied and ran up the stairs. Nora began after her, but Derek held her back. Derek waited a couple of minutes and the knocked on Casey's door.

No one answered. So Derek walked in, at least he had knocked. He found her crumpled on her bed. She looked stiff, motionless, Derek could barely tell she was breathing.

He didn't say anything as he walked in and sat down on her bed next to her. He didn't know what to do, or what to say so Derek slowly reached out his hand and laid it next to her broken out stretched one. Casey shied away when Derek's fingers curled around hers.

Derek caught a glimpse of her fearful eyes. His stomach plugged so deeply that it made him feel like he needed to throw up.

Neither of them could talk, but then again neither of them tried to talk. Derek was to busy thinking of what to do for Casey to think to talk. Barely moving the bed, he slowly and carefully laid down next to Casey. Carefully not to touch her any where else but her hand. Derek heard a sob for breath escape Casey, but didn't even comment. This was the one exception, he would let Casey cry in front of him. After all, he was in her room, he had brought this upon himself. They laid there for thirty minutes before Derek realize Casey had fallen asleep. He listen to her deep breathing for a while before he left to go to his room.

It was only 10:30 on a Saturday morning. And his day was already ruined.

* * *

**It's really short. But tell me what you think please. And I'd love to hear you thoughts about what you think is going to happen. Thanks! **


	11. Breaths of Life

Derek sat down at his desk, taking out all his homework that he must have finished by next week.

He let out a great sigh when he realized it was much more than he had expected. He turned on his music to try and block the image of broken Casey lying in the room next to him. Suddenly, George came in, followed by Nora.

"My door was closed." Derek said, trying to make his voice sound mad. Instead he made it sound even sadder.

"Tell me how anyone can think under this condition." Nora yelled over his music before she switched it off.

"Hey!" he yelled.

"Derek, we haven't told the younger kids yet." George said cutting straight to the point. This didn't surprise Derek but it did upset him quite a bit.

"Okay that's fine and everything, until they wake up one day and I'm not here!" he stammered.

"Are you just planning to be like: Surprise kids, Edwin is now the oldest brother!" his stomach dropped. Not because he was going to leave them, but the fact that he would never see them grow up, never see them live. Marti would barely remember him; he would never be able to teach Edwin how to be a man. He would never be able to protect Lizzie from all the perverted boys out there. And he would never get to show Casey that…

That he what? Cared about her? Sure he cared about her, she was his step-sister after all, he wasn't that heartless.

"Can you just go away?! I won't tell them unless they ask. Just go away!" he half yelled, half whispered.

"Derek, we need to talk about this, we-" George began.

"Fine if you won't leave then I will." he grabbed his phone and his jacket and headed out to his car. Running down the stair he found Lizzie and Edwin sitting on the couch watching the T.V. But the volume was on mute. They gave a worried filled glance in Derek's direction before he ran out the door.

It was only 11:30 in the afternoon; somehow this day seemed to be going by in slow motion. He started his car and began to pull out when he heard someone screaming at him.

"Nora, I'm not in the mood for- Casey?" he was faced with a very depressed looking Casey. 

"Can I come?" she spoke barely above a whisper.

"Case, I don't really think-"

"Derek, please I won't embarrass you." this made Derek laugh out loud. She thought he would be embarrassed by her? Well, he used to be, that's true, but now? With the end of his life so close in his vision he couldn't think of any reason to be embarrassed by her.

"Casey that's not why," he began again but she cut him off.

"Derek, I'm coming with you. I can't stand it here any longer." she spat back at him while she got in the car and buckled in. He didn't want her to come with him because he knew that if he got close to her now, then it would hurt her much more in the long run if he did end up leaving this world.

Ten minutes into the journey, Derek realized he had no destination in mind, seconds later Casey noticed the same thing.

"We aren't going anywhere specific, are we?" she questioned him. He barely nodded in response. It was her choice to come along; he didn't promise her that he would talk.

Derek pulled up to a red light and relaxed in his seat. But he noticed out of the corner of his eye how Casey couldn't get comfortable in hers. She keep twitching and moving around in her seat, Derek had only seen her act this way two other times, once was when Derek kept making fun of her about liking Sam. The other was that night in the hospital. Then he just thought that she moved a lot while she slept, but having watched her sleep thismorning and watching her now, he knew something was very wrong.

"Casey," he stammered as the light turned green.

"Hhmm." was her reply. Derek hadn't turned his attention from the road yet. But he was dying to see if Casey was looking at him. 

"Why," he paused. "Why did you come with me?" 

"The house is getting to crazy. Mom and George aren't acting like themselves. I can't talk to Lizzie about my problems so there is no one to help Me." her voice was barely audible.

"Um, why can't you talk to Lizzie?" he questioned.

"You know why." she shot back at him.

"Casey," he had started to love saying her name. "I-"

"Derek, please. Let's just drop it. Okay?" her tone was sad almost, and still full of hurt. Derek had no idea what had just happened. Was Casey mad at him? He couldn't understand how she had gotten so angry. He slowly pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car. 

"Casey, Tell me what's wrong. Please." he said looking straight forward. He didn't understand why he needed to know what was wrong with her. But it was suddenly mandatory to understand.

"Is Derek Venturi begging me?" she said trying to change the subject. 

"Casey, please just tell me!" he gripped the steering wheel tighter trying to get under control. 

The car was silent; Derek was worried that he made Casey scared of him. Tears of fear rolled down both Casey and Derek's cheek. Anger twisted his inside as he realizes he was losing control again. Casey recognized this and started talking to Derek to help him cool down. She slowly placed her hand on his shoulder, at her touch Derek collapsed. Casey carefully places his head in her lap. Derek didn't like feeling so weak but he wouldn't pull away from Casey touch. They sat like that for what seemed like hours. For the second time today Derek could feel Casey breathing. He loved it. But that feeling scared him to death.

* * *

**I **** have know idea why some things are underlined! I have tried very hard to make them go away, but they just won't!!! anyway tell me what you think. and thanks to everyone!**


	12. Swirl of Emotions

They quite car allowed Derek to calm down a little but he still didn't feel like moving his head from Casey lap. It was just to comforting to lay there. Finally though he decided he should drive them home. As he was sitting up Casey phone rang from her purse, which lay at her feet. Derek reached in and grabbed it out glancing at the screen to see who it was. 'Sam' flashed across the screen.

"Why is Sam calling you?" Derek questioned hoping he didn't sound to nosey. But the only reply he got from her was a roll of the eyes.

"Hey." Casey answered.

"Tomorrow?"

"No, not right now. I'm in the car." she said lowering her voice.

" Yeah. Do you want to talk to him?"

Derek continued to keep driving not really care about Sam right now.

"Derek," he heard Casey say. "Derek. Do you want to talk to Sam?" she questioned.

"Not while I'm driving." he added lamely. They were now turning in to their driveway. He turned off the car, Casey looked at him trying to hand him the phone.

"Tell him I'll call him later." Derek muttered as he got out of the car. Derek had no intention of calling is friend anytime soon, but he knew that would at least shut Casey up for now.

Derek walked in the house, with Casey following close behind, for some reason still on the phone to Sam. He was starting to get angry and slightly annoyed at how much Casey was laughing and giggle at what Sam had to say. Derek watched Casey sit down on the couch as he went to the kitchen, surely she was about to hang up. But as soon as he made it fully into the kitchen he heard Casey whisper; "Okay, I'm alone now."

Derek had know idea what that meant, nor did he care. All he knew was right at that moment he was the angriest he that he had ever been it seemed. He could still hear Casey laughing but now it seemed louder, if possible, it seemed to ring in his ears. He had never been able to make her laugh that hard, he had never been able to make Casey happy at all it seemed. A mixture of feelings swirled in Derek's head. He could not stand to listen to Casey and Sam's conversation any longer, he had to get up stairs to the safety of his room. He ran out of the kitchen as quickly and as quietly as he could, he didn't want Casey to realize that he was upset. Especially that he was upset because of her. As he began to climb the steps his neck betrayed him and turned his head towards Casey's direction. She was looking right at him with her sharp blue eyes; causing another emotion to enter his head. Guilt.

He continued to climb the stairs still locked in her odd stare. He was trying to make out the feeling in her eyes, anger, hurt, happiness, confusion, love? The last one entered his mind with a loud bang, could she be in love… with Sam? He tried to erase the thought. His stomach twisted as he bounded up the last few steps and entered his room. Locking the door and crawling under the covers made him feel like a little kid again. He amazed himself at how calm he was being, normally he would be throwing a fit right now. But maybe the amount of emotions turning around in his head kept him level in a way.

It was insane at how much of a female he felt like at this moment. Never in his life had he thought so much of the way he felt. He hated it. He hated this disease. He hated everything. But most of all he hated Casey. She was to blame for all of these feeling. Derek knew that she had been sweet and loving towards him but he didn't care. Right now all that he knew was that Casey had ruined his life. She had been the one to tell his parents he was sick, she had been one of the reasons he got mad the very first time, he had cut his foot on her razor. And now she was in love with Sam, his best friend. That was just simply unforgivable.

He laid in his bed for awhile just staring at the clock until his stomach growled. That was the first sound he had heard in a long time now that he thought about it. Where was everybody? Derek peeked his head out of his door, he really didn't want to run in to anyone right now. He rushed down stairs and into the kitchen not even checking to see if Casey was still down there. He grabbed enough food for lunch and dinner, he didn't want to have to make this journey again in five more hours. He sneaked up stairs and into his room, he turned to lock the door when he noticed someone was in the room.

"Get out of my ROOM!" he yelled not even bothering to look at the face. He already knew who it was. But Casey didn't move. He unlocked the door and pointed to the open door.

"Casey please I'm not in the mood for any of your stupid games. So please, LEAVE!" he was getting more and more angry with every word. All the hate he had just burned off was coming back. He hated the way she was just standing there, he hated they way she hadn't said anything , but most of all he hated how she was looking at him.

"What do you want?" he asked closing the door and sitting down on his bed, with his head between his legs. Derek knew Casey would not leave until she got in her word. Derek tried to take calming breathes that Casey had taught him, but the fact that it was Casey who had taught him made it all the worse.

"Casey, whatever you want it would be best if you told me now before I get to angry." he had started to shake and it was a wonder to him how he was still under control. Derek heard her move slightly and looked up to see what she was doing. She sat down on the end of the bed.

"I'm here to listen." she replied softly.

"Oh okay, you are here to listen…. That makes no sense at all. First of all, what are you trying to be some kind of counselor? Sorry to break it to you. But you aren't. Secondly, coming in to my room with out asking isn't a very good way to get me calm. Is it?

And last, I was ready to talk to you today in the car. But then Sam called and he was more important." Derek tried to take a couple deep breathes. But they mostly just came in short choppy gasps. " Look Casey, I don't need for you to listen to me. I just want you to get out." Derek looked up from his hands that be had been staring at for a while. Casey looked like she could cry. And maybe after all the crap he had put her through maybe she should cry. But instead she quietly got up and walked out of his room.

That was very un-Casey like, normally she would have made him say what he was feeling.

His brain continued to swarm with mixed emotions and crazy thoughts. He laid down on his bed to try and sort things out. But his brain wouldn't listen. He tried to understand why he felt jealous but he had no reason to be. He wouldn't let him self cry. There was no reason to, but for some reason silent tears fell down anyway. Derek knew that his disease was getting worse, all he could do now was pray that the doctors would find a cure before his emotion to complete control of him. And Derek Venturi doesn't deal with emotions well. Even if they are his own.

* * *

**I know its been a while, for some reason this one was very hard to write. Anyway tell me what you think and maybe give me some ideas for what should be next? **

**THANKS~**


	13. Remember the Pain

* * *

After hours of lying in his bed, trying to at least wrap his mind around the fact that he was losing it, he fell asleep. It seemed like a few minutes had past when his body woke him up with the urgency to use the restroom. When he got back from the restroom he glanced at his clock. It read 7:04 o'clock. He had fallen asleep at 4:00. No wander he was so hungry he hadn't eaten lunch. He walked down the stairs slowly and taking a moment to stretch on the last step. He hoped the family hadn't already eaten dinner or at least he hoped they had saved him some.

"Well good morning," he heard a voice call from the kitchen. Nora was busy making something. Derek paused, he repeated "Good morning." But it was more of a question. He looked out a window, it was bright outside. So apparently he had slept through lunch and dinner.

"You were asleep for a long time. I beat your really hungry." Nora said.

"Starved," Derek replied. Nora came out with a plate of bacon. She put a few pieces on his plate. Derek stomached turned.

"Um, I don't think I want bacon." He said getting up to look for something else to eat.

"Okay?" Derek never chose something else over bacon. He looked through the pantry and then the refrigerator, everything made his stomach clench tighter.

"Uh, never mind. I'm not that hungry I'll just go take a shower." He started to head for the stairs.

"Derek, you really need to eat something-"

"Nora! I will eat later." He grabbed the banister on the stairs. A light ringing rung through his ears and the corners of his vision when out of focus, he could still hear Nora yelling at him.

"Shut up!" he yelled as he began to climb the stairs. Derek only made it up the first two before the ringing got louder. When he was on the fifth his vision when into a blur, on the sixth step dizziness kicked in and as his foot landed on the seventh all he could do from falling was grab the banister. But that didn't help, he could tell something was wrong but he couldn't see what was happening. When he hit the floor all he could concentrate on was not throwing up on Nora shoes, but he did it anyway. He collapsed on the cold, dirty floor with Nora screaming for help above him. That was the last thing he was positive that happened. Everything else he couldn't say was real. After a while the pain kicked in, but he couldn't tell anyone how bad he hurt. His head hurt the worst, all the bright lights and the yelling didn't help either. The only thing he could hope for now was to black out and not have to listen to them yell.

Minutes later, or what felt like minutes, Derek woke up from what seemed like a very painful dream. As he opened his eyes he realized where he was. Again.

"Damn it" he whispered under his breath as he closed his eyes tightly shut again. Derek hear a slight movement and prayed that whoever was in the room had not heard him, he wanted to pretend he was asleep a little longer while he figured out what had happened. He took in a deep breath and 'felt' all over his body. Nothing seemed to be broken, however; his head was killing him, which he expected, and his butt felt like it suffered from a horrible bruise, again, also expected. He had taken a wickedly bad fall, a fall that he barely remember, to be honest. Derek heard another movement that caused him to remember that he was in a hospital, once more, and that no matter how long he took to wake up, his medical problem would still be there. He cringed a little when he thought of having to listen to people talk about his problem and what he couldn't do anymore because of his condition; which, at the moment was getting very annoying. Why couldn't he have a normal case of the flu or even the chickenpox? Not this horribly stupid disease that he didn't know much about.

He heard a door open and close and he figured it was time to 'wake up'. Derek opened his eyes hoping to see a room full of flowers, 'get well' cards, and balloons, and he did, just not as many as he thought he would. He looked around the room for a person and saw Nora reading a book silently in the corner by the television. Derek pushed the buzzer on the side of the bed that called the nurse, and watched as Nora jumped about two inches in the air.

"Oh Derek,! You're awake!" she exclaimed, far too excited for his taste.

"Yes, and I have an exploding migraine, and a bladder full of pee, so if you wouldn't mind helping me up." He saying just as the nurse walked in. The nurse, whose name tag told him that her name was Carol, helped him very carefully to the bathroom, while Nora stepped outside to call the family and tell them that Derek had finally woken up. After the bathroom break he began to beg the nurse to give him some more drugs for his head, and she promised him that in an hour and a half he could have some more pain killers.

Nora came back in with a huge smile on her face.

"So how do you feel?" she question.

"That was a very, very stupid question." Derek shot back as he closed his eyes wishing he could sleep forever.

"It's Monday." Nora said softly. Derek didn't reply, what was he supposed to say?

"November 10." She continued. Again Derek stayed quite.

"Edwin's Birthday" she finished. Derek's eyes shot open. A thousand thoughts ran through his head, one screamed the loudest; he was the worst brother in the history of brothers. The guilt from years of 'forgetting' to buy his brother a present was coming back the bite him in the butt and the biting dog made sure to bite him on his freshly new bruise.

**Super sorry for such a long wait!!!! I just didnt have the time to write anything. Tell me what you think. THanks~**

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	14. Random Hate

**Sorry for the super long wait! But seriously more reveiws and the next one will be out faster! **

**Thanks for reading! and Let me know what you think!**

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November 10, Edwin's birthday, what a horrible brother he was turning out to be. He wishes he could take it all back, all the mean things he had said to Edwin, and become the best brother that he knew how to be. Marti, Lizzie, and Edwin walked in and Derek felt like he almost was about to cry.

"Ed!" Derek yelled, causing everyone in the room to jump.

"Hey D, how are you feeling?" Edwin asks walking over to his bed.

"Man, I'm great! How are you?!? It's your birthday after all. What do you have planned for today?" Everyone paused and looked around at each other, when Marti spoke up.

"We didn't know when you would wake up! So Edwin canceled all his plans!" she yelled, thinking she was helping.

"Marti." Lizzie whispered as she put a finger to her lips, telling Marti to be quite.

"You canceled your birthday plans in case I would wake up?" boy now he felt really awful. "Hey, well I am awake now! Go out and have some fun!"

"Derek, no its fine, I didn't want to do anything for my birthday this year anyway." Edwin says, sitting next to Derek on the bed.

"But, you know what I do want to do, now that you are awake." Edwin continued, "Catch you up on all the hockey games you have missed! Montreal lost their game, with a shoot out! 2-1"

"What? How did the number one team lose? Who did they play against?" the conversation went on like this for a while, until Edwin realize that another game would be starting pretty soon, so they turned on the TV, just as Casey, Nora walked in with food that looked like it was from the hospital cafeteria.

"Oh, Derek! You're awake!" Nora pronounced. Last time he had heard Nora say this he fell down a flight of stairs. It was true, this scene was getting old, it seemed like every other week he was wakening up in the hospital after having collapsed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake; do you know when I'll be able to get out of here? And you all better have gotten Ed a cake from the cafe, I feel horrible making him miss his birthday."

"Wow, Derek, those are words I thought would never come from your mouth." Casey shot back, glaring at him quickly before picking up her phone and running out of the room.

"The doctors said that you would probably be able to leave at the very least, by tomorrow, considering that you have woken up." Nora said.

"Where's dad?" Derek asked looking around the room noticing his lack of presence. Nora told the kids to go look for Casey, and then scooted closer, as if her secret was too hard to say a loud.

"Not to alarm you, but money is become, um well, rather tight, your dad had to pick up an extra job on the side to help pay for everything. Insurance only covers so much, and I have also been finding little jobs here and there to help pay, but the reason I am telling you this is because, we don't want the little kids to know. They are too young to worry about such things, Casey knows , and was promoted a Smelly Nelly's, she is also babysitting for Emily's family as much as possible. We don't want you to worry either; we just wanted to let you know so that you'd understand why your father isn't here."

This was a lot to take in, his family had never had money troubles before, or, if they had, his dad had never let him know of it, but now it was so bad that Casey was even helping out. Boy, did he feel bad. Hopefully they would let him get his job back at Smelly Nelly's, maybe he could mow the neighbor's lawn or something. He laughed at that thought, actually doing work, and not getting to keep the benefits for himself, but he reminded himself that he was the reason his family was having money trouble.

After the kids came back, Casey took Lizzie and Marti home, and Nora and Edwin stayed. They sat in silence and watched the forgotten hockey game, but all Derek could do was think of ways to help his family when he got out of the hospital, because he would get out of the hospital tomorrow, whether the doctors let him or not, he was tired of the same white walls every other week. This time when he gets out he would live his life as much as he could.

"Well, we better get Edwin home before he dies of exhaustion. " Nora whispers, Derek looks over at Edwin knocked out on the very uncomfortable looking hospital chair, he looks as if he hadn't slept in a real bed for a while. He looks at Nora and notice the bags under her eyes as well.

"Nora, I don't say this often, and if you tell Casey I said this I might deny it but, thank you for everything you have done for me these last couple of weeks. It really does mean a lot to me." Derek croaked out.

" Oh, Derek you are always welcome. Darn, I wish Edwin had been awake to hear that." As if on cue Edwin twitches in his sleep, and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, yeah, like you said, get that kid home before he dies of sleep deprivation." She laughed quietly and woke Edwin up, he was so tired all he did was wrap his arm around Nora as they walked out.

"Casey will pick you up tomorrow morning, both your father and I are working otherwise we would. Don't give her to hard of a time." She smiled and left, dragging Edwin along beside her.

Derek frowned to himself, Casey hadn't seemed to happy to see him, but, then again, that was there relationship, hate on the outside, and well not friendship, but something like that on the inside. He laughed to himself, tomorrow would be interesting for sure.

That night, Derek dreamt of a gory battle, between a tall blonde boy, with a beautiful brunette at his side, and thousands of men with horse behind him, against a weak army, made up of only a few hundred of men, with frail, broken looking horse. Derek knew how this dream would end, and he knew whose team he was fighting for, he just didn't understand why he was fighting against Sam and Casey.

A shrill voice woke Derek up the next morning, shrill enough that he was sure the nurses would come running from the commotion, and save him from what he could now tell would be a horrible morning.

He opened his eyes, no such luck, and no nurse in his room, or rushing to his aid, all he saw was Casey staring at him with furious eyes.

"What Casey? You could have just poked me, or quietly said my name, instead of waking up the whole hospital." If she was going to be pissy, he might as well fire back.

"I did. Multiple times, and I'm sure most of the hospital is already up because, gee, look at the time, it one o'clock. You where supposed to be up and out of here by eleven, but no, the nurses insisted you get more sleep for your final day, and now I have missed school, all just to pick up your worthless butt, and don't pretend that comment hurt your pride, because we both know that your pride is big enough for the both of us." Derek just stared silently at this new Casey, what had changed inside of her, why she was acting this way. Not that this mood was unnatural for her, but only when Derek had done something to really piss her off, but he had been asleep for the past few days, what could he have done?

"Come on, get dressed, we need to get you home by four, I have some where to be." Casey said in annoyance, throwing Derek his clothes and pointing to the bathroom. Derek gathered the thrown clothes and began to get out of the warm hospital bed, but as soon as he stood, his eyes spun in his head.

"Do you need me to call a nurse?" Casey asked the acid in her tone a little less than before.

"No, that will just convince them I need to stay longer, plus the dizziness is only because I haven't moved in like two days. " Derek said grabbing the rail that leads to the bathroom. As he tried to button up his shirt his hands started to shake so badly that he couldn't finish, he debated on whether he should call Casey in to help him. He decided against it, after all he was wearing an undershirt, so he just left it unbuttoned. Once he had come out, Casey had already packed all his stuff, which wasn't much considering he had only been there two days.

"Let's go." Derek said, grabbing the bag and heading for the door. The car ride home was silent for most of the trip, until Derek asked "Where are you going at four?" deciding he could be a nosey as he wanted.

"Nowhere."

"Well, then why did we have to be home by then?" Derek asked confused.

"Because, I have a date at five." She said very quickly.

"And it takes you an hour to get ready?" Derek began, "Wait, a date? Do I know the poor boy?"

"As a matter of fact you do, but we have decided that you do not need to know about our relationship, because of how you treated our previous one."

"You're dating Sam?!?"

"What?!? How did you know?" she said stunned, that Derek had figured it out so quickly.

"Space Case, how many boyfriends have you had recently? Three, tops? And how many have I known well enough to mess with your relationship? Just Sam. Plus do you really think I'm that stupid? I heard you all talking the other night. Remember?"

"Yes, well-"

"And why in the world should it matter to me who you date, those days are past me. You can have Sam, I have other friends, we don't have to try and share him anymore." Derek thought about his dream again from last night, he still didn't know what it meant, but he had a feeling that it might be about this.

"You're going to leave us alone?" Now she was the confused one.

"Yeah, whatever." Derek said, a small feeling turning in his stomach. Was he hungry? "Hey, yo, pull in this fast food joint, I'm starved."

"Three breakfast burritos, and two hash browns, with a large hot chocolate, and-"he turned to Casey, "You want something?"

"Yeah, you just got out of the hospital do you really need all this junk?" she looked almost concerned, almost. She pulled out her cell phone suddenly and smiled at the screen.

"Ugg, okay a medium hot chocolate." Derek said changing his order and turned to give the 'are you happy now?' face, but she was too busy texting Sam back.

Derek woofed down the food and burned his tongue on the hot chocolate, he saved a hash brown for Casey, just in case she was hungry.

"It's 2:30 in the afternoon, why would I want a hash brown?" She asked as he held it in her face as a silent question. Derek didn't reply instead he took a small bite out of it and looked out the window, a frown on his face when Casey's phone buzzed again.

"You shouldn't text while, you drive. You could get in a wreck." Derek said with a mouth full of hash- browns.

"And you shouldn't talk with your mouth full, you could choke." Derek was going to speak up and ask Casey what the heck was wrong with her, but let it slide. Only this once, he wasn't getting soft, he was just being a good step- brother.

They were the only two at home, when they pulled in ten minutes later, Casey went immediately up stairs, grabbed her purse and headed over to Emily's house. Derek crashed on his chair and looked for his phone in the cushions. Twenty unread texts, and eight missed calls, boy did he feel loved.

Five of the calls ended up being from either Sam, or Ralph. One was from a crazy ex-girlfriend, who sounded drunk, along with two unknown numbers. And about thirteen of the texts messages where just random 'heys' from people he barely talked to. Yeah, he really felt loved, not.

Derek flipped through the TV channels and when he found nothing good on, he decided to take a long overdue shower. He let his muscles relax under the hot water, and stood there for a long while. He dried off and headed to his room, noticing Casey's door had been left open, when he saw something familiar sticking out of from under her bed. He walked into her room and picked up the fabric, why was his lucky boxer's in Casey's room? Lucky, because he and Sam each brought a pair together, and wore them on every date with a girl, hoping something might happen. He moved back to his room and placed his boxer's back in the drawer, when he noticed his lucky boxer's were already there. Then whose were these?

"Hello? Casey? You home?"

Sam.


End file.
